Got my MTV script tonight. Shooting tomorrow. I have diarrhea.
Text convo with my BFF
Me: I flashed an H&M employee today. I asked her if she thought I could alter this bathing suit top and pinched the back and it flew off. Him: Hahahaha that’s the best thing I’ve heard all week. Me: She just looked at me with hate in her eyes and said “it happens all the time”… Him: It takes a special kind of person to be able to swallow Human Centipede:...
slashleen asked: Why are you such a whore?
This is happening in my bedroom right now
If you're still awake
You should ask me something. I’m restless. slashleen.tumblr.com/ask
You may have noticed how fucking BROKEN MY BED IS! FROM ALL OF THE CRAZY SEX I HAVE ALL THE TIME! Ok, no. It’s because apparently the lovely people at IKEA decided to make their bed frames out of pencil shavings and can’t take the weight of two 115 lb girls sitting on it at the same time to record a youtube video. I need a man in my life, not just to be able to break a bed...
Facts about my day:
I slept through my alarm. I was late to open the salon. Paid 30 bucks to take a taxi. Showed up in the same makeup from last night. Same panties too. I smell like vodka and moldy cheese. I puked after I smelled a client’s coffee breath. I look like a drowned rat. It’s 4pm and I’m pretty sure I’m still drunk. But I don’t regret one second of last night. That...
High quote of the week
“To allow yourself to fall in love is to embrace life’s greatest weakness.” - my friend Rachel just now. Mind=blown.
Finally caved and upgraded to an iPhone. I guess this means I can say goodbye to the minuscule bit of a social life I have left?
Aced it. So happy right now :)