March 2011
114 posts
February 2011
142 posts
He ignores you, but you like him. He does nothing, but you fall for him, you miss him, even though you know he's never thought about you.
because you’re a girl and girls are sadomasochists
Play
Live Dad commentary on American Idol pt. 2:
“I’ll bet you my left nut Fat-Churchy-McBlack guy is gonna make it through.”
“Someone needs to tell that girl to get on a treadmill and run her fat ass off.”
“Is J-Lo still single? Is your mom asleep yet? Nevermind, I’m sure you can fill in the blanks there.”
“That guy sounds like an angry Latino ghost trying to haunt an apartment building.”
“Is that Shrek in a blonde wig?”
“Yup. You forgot the words. Nobody loves you.”
“You better pray they’re looking for fat, talentless horses this year.”
“She clunked up the stage only to find out she’s too ugly to move on.”
“Gay.”
“Gay flapjack.”
“That guy is pretty badly gay.”
Just in case you were wondering where I get it from…
Who do I have to fist to get you to follow me on twitter?
God, probably.
My Dad on American Idol:
“That’s too gay. Stick-it-deep-in-my-ass gay.”
I'm writing
A script for my own original pilot. If I had a dick it would be rock hard. I am so proud of this already.
Do you want children?
I think so. Perhaps a son. Little boys make the coolest sound effects.
