I had my 3 hour Event Marketing lecture today. Interesting in theory, but all I could think about was “PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY!” I don’t think you guys understand. Take a man’s love for tits, bacon and pyrotechnics combined and multiply that by the number of times you’ve ever inhaled in your life and that might be close to how much I love dogs. I think I found...
Anonymous asked: I think your Tweets are hilarious but has there ever been a case where you have gotten a bit of backlash from any? If so, which one(s)?
mzlezlaloo asked: how do you get your hair so red? do you have it done or do it yourself? i loooove it!
itching to go red :)
itching to go red :)
I don't know why, but it's not working.
I’ll post a video later. In other news, I say “um” way too much.
Current status: Watching the food network and begging my appetite to come back.
Every time I cough it tastes like metal. I sound like I’ve been smoking every day of my life since birth. I have a fever and it’s making me hallucinate mildly. Wanna makeout?
Am I too late on the sex meme?
I lost my virginity when I was 18. I went through a slutty phase when I was 20. My favorite position is any one where there’s a penis in my vagina, but I only cum when I’m on top. One time in high school I hooked up with a Swiss girl. It is to this day the best head I’ve ever received. I’ll be 24 in March and the last time I had sex was almost 2 years ago. I’ve lost...
My boyfriend just told me the only reason he wanted to fuck me is because I’m retarded, so there’s a chance I might rip his dick off and he likes danger.
Anonymous asked: Are you a true red head?
Take a drink every time someone on the Bachelor says “here for the right reasons”, but be advised, there’s a chance you’ll die of alcohol poisoning.
I spent most of my morning wishing for a good excuse not to go to class. I even phoned work to see if there was anything they needed me to come in for. As I walked up to my building there was a huge sign that said “Broken Pipe, D Building Closed. All Classes Cancelled”. A dream is a wish the laziest part of your brain makes, and sometimes the Devil makes those dreams come true.
I've been writing so much lately.
I have accumulated a MASSIVE back log of tweets, random thoughts and the beginnings of a few dozen stories. It’s so exciting. I’m getting all of this together for when I see Martin in a few weeks and we fly out to LA. We’re finalizing the details on Monday.
There is a God
I was looking for a good reason not to go to the gym tonight… Then the liquor store down the street set on fire, and the whole town lost hydro. Current status: Lighting candles in the dark and celebrating.
You guys need to stop burrowing into my brain.
I keep having dreams about meeting people from twitter. Mostly in shitty little bars, where you’re all at a table having a good time and I’m too scared to come over and say hello. But they’re so vivid. I’m pretty sure I even know what some of you smell like.
yeahimashley-deactivated2011100 asked: I love you so much now that I think I hate you, and I have to make it public.